they don't even know you
all they see is scars
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I will
remember your face
‘cause I am
still in love with that place
He couldn’t help but chuckle at her negative comment about herself. It was funny mainly because he felt the same way about him. Bringing up Myles hurt, he had to admit, but it wasn’t as bad as it would have been a while back ago. A lot has happened and a lot has occupied his mind. “I don’t know.. If I were still on talking terms with Myles.. I probably would have been ordered to hurt him instead of Cole.” he brought his arms around his abdomen.
“I crucio’d him, you know. I think I did more damage to him than he did to me.” He swallowed, forcing back tears. Cole’s scream still rang in his ears from nightmares that just wouldn’t stop occurring. “You think I’m still capable of being loved, Mysti? I mean.. would you be able to love me knowing that little bit of information? Would you be able to kiss me without fearing I’d do the same to you? I’m still human after all, right? So it’s possible that someone could.. some day.”
She remembered, she remembered Cole telling her. In that moment, she could’ve sworn she hated him, but that wasn’t true. She was just angry that anyone could do that to someone. Though Mysti analyzed quite a bit into it all and nothing ever really added up until he said he was ordered. She looked back at him, “It all makes sense now.” She said softly, “You know, before Hogwarts.. I always thought I’d be a Ravenclaw. I was so sure of myself. The day the hat shouted Slytherin, I was beyond disappointed. I didn’t feel like I belonged, but with time, I grew to realize that was exactly my place. Though that never took away the fact that I crave knowledge and I look into things too much.” She looked down at the water again, “It never added up why you would do such a thing…”
“Now it does.” She nodded, “I know, Cole is like my brother. It’s sad to say I trust him with many more things than I do Myles. Not that I don’t trust my brother— just that sometimes I feel like I would hurt him or upset him with some of the thoughts I have, so I keep them to myself.” She looked down, “He told me.” She muttered, Mysti listened to him. “Everyone’s capable of being loved.” She looked at him from the corner of her eyes, “If everyone deserves it is a different story.” Mysti felt the wind blow through her hair, she pushed her hair back with one hand. “Would I be able to love you under such circumstances?” She nodded.
Mysti licked her lips, “If I fell in love with you… I wouldn’t care what you did, where you came from, or what you could do. Loving someone is trusting them. The heart, it’s such a vital organ. An organ that never stops working, never sleeps and even if it’s broken, it still beats. I’d fall in love with you, not your actions or capabilities. And if you hurt me, I’d still love you and try to help you change it all somehow. Maybe after a while I’d get tired, but that wouldn’t be until you have taken everything out of me that I have to give.” She sighed again, “Though… like I said, me loving you wouldn’t be the best thing that could happen to you. I tend to destroy anything I touch.” She leaned back and then carefully sat down on the grass. “I hurt. I take and take. I’m selfish and foolish. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. I’m not ordered. I just do it…” She looked up at him and took in a deep breath, not wanting to cry.
“Mysti, as nice as that offer is.. and it is, really, but.. I dunno if I could accept it. Eventually I’ll fall, like I always do, but the feelings, yet again, wont be returned and I don’t want to go through that again,” he shook his head, pulling a hand from his pocket and running his fingers through his hair. Fallon took a deep breath. It was hard not to fall for someone who gave him the attention he wanted and needed. It was harder if they had kept him so busy and happy that it kept his mind off his home, his family.
Truth be told he wasn’t the same guy he used to be. Deprived from the interaction with his brother, cursed and hurt by Savannah, it all changed him some way. The male glanced over at her then back forward. “Myles doesn’t seem so great. Not anymore at least.” He walked back over to the tree he was sitting at, leaning against it before he slid down to sit. “How does one even go about on getting someone to like them for them?”
“You wouldn’t fall for me. It’d be the worst mistake you could possibly make.” She looked away and then stepped out towards the water more. She remembered the day she had almost died. She remembered thinking about jumping into the water and letting fill her lungs to the brink but something had stopped her. Now she could only wonder if the current could take her somewhere she didn’t feel so lost. In a way, Mysti understood why Danny left now. It was suffocating. Not knowing who you are or what you are. Not feeling like you belong at what you used to call your home. Muggle world would not be what she would need to find home. No, not in the least.
Her attention turned back towards him as she let out a soft scoff. “You say that only because Myles stopped keeping in contact, were you two still on talking terms, it’d be a different story.” She glanced over her back at him and then turned, “It’s difficult to put into words.” She gripped onto her sleeves tighter, “I’m not really all that sure… but when the person comes along that does, you’ll have no doubt about it. You’ll know just by how they are around you. Truth is though, you should always keep on guard even when said person comes along.”
He finished his sandwich as she spoke then stuffed his hands into his pockets. He shrugged, “I’m honestly used to people doing that and all because of some stupid rumor that started to spread around. I’ve always had this need to feel wanted, needed, and loved. Myles made me feel that way, it was nice I guess and I get why you would have reacted that way. We haven’t spoken since. Everything just stopped suddenly. The texts, the calls, the random pop ins. I should have known it would have happened… it always happens.”
Fallon took a deep breath and turned from her, staring out past the stream. “I guess you had every right to be the way you were to me because if Myles hadn’t have stopped I probably would have fallen and ruined things for Noah without even questioning it because I’m selfish.” He licked his lips. “Maybe I should be the one who is sorry.. right? I mean.. it was wrong of me to flirt or to drag Myles away from Noah and ruin their time together. I just needed someone because my brother wasn’t around, y’know?”
“Everyone can be selfish from time to time.” She said softly, Mysti stared down into the water, taking another bite. She nodded, once she finished the sandwich, her arms went back to wrapping around herself. Her hands grabbed at her sleeves that covered her arms. She had to make sure to wear long sleeves unless she wanted to be questioned on why she had hand prints over her skin. The nightmares had gotten worse and it seemed every day, she was more sensitive to a lingering bitter soul that made her feel their pain.
She glanced at him and sighed, “I don’t think so… you shouldn’t apologize for the way you feel. I know that sounds bad because I was completely unfair to you, but it’s true…” Mysti sighed and looked back up at the sky, “I can’t say I understand though… I mean, Myles is my twin and we rarely even talk as it is. We’re different. Myles is the better twin though and I am happy about that.” She paused and closed her eyes for a moment, “I judged you so harshly but I myself bring nothing but hurt and pain to anyone I get close to.” Her tone was bitter almost angry towards herself, she glanced back at him, “I know it’s not much or you might think I’m lying but if you need someone there to listen to you… I do take pride in the fact that I am an amazing listener. So… if you’d like, you can always call me.”
Her touched had frightened him a bit but he had stayed still, trying not to show it. He nodded slightly and took a bite from his sandwich looking past her into the open. He waited until he had finished chewing and swallowing to speak again. “I thought you didn’t like me, Mysti,” he stated simply. For the longest time he had thought that. It wasn’t just a silly thought but more how she treated him at the party and her house.
His eyes shifted to her’s. Still that same bright blue that he remembered seeing in those flashing lights at that stupid party. Fallon wouldn’t deny it if someone asked him if Mysti was beautiful, she was, but he would have denied liking her. He hadn’t even thought of her that way, mainly because he thought she didn’t like him. He took another bite from his half of the sandwich.
Mysti shook her head, “I didn’t trust you. When I don’t like someone, I don’t give them any time of day or any attention. I didn’t trust you, there’s a difference… believe it or not. Then again… I don’t trust most people. ” She took another bite and kept her gaze down. “I was just protective of Myles. I let myself be carried away by the things I was told.” She glanced at him and then looked down again.
“Though, it never led to dislike. I don’t dislike unless you give me a reason to, which up until now you haven’t.” She looked up at the sky, “I apologize for judging you without even really truly knowing you. Again, I got protective when I saw you with Myles, especially with N-Noah and all. I don’t like conflict so I didn’t want any of it.” She swallowed, sometimes it was hard to think about the other male still. He had left a huge mark on her but she would manage to one day without it hurting at least a little. “I’m truly sorry.” She looked back at him.
Fallon shook his head. “Not pathetic to want to do something for yourself. If you’re unhappy then you should go, find yourself and enjoy the world, y’know?” He looked back at her and gave her a sad smile. “Personally I want to go home..” he looked down and closed his eyes trying not to cry, “I’ve been away for so long it’s hard to even remember my own room or my mother’s face but my brother… my brother I remember clearly…” his voice trailed off and he seemed deep in thought for a while.
The former Durmstrang male shook his head then looked up at the female. “You hungry? I have a sandwich in my bag we can split if you’d like.. Human interaction would be lovely right now, no?” Fallon swung the bag forward softly and unzipped it reaching into it and pulling out a sandwich that was cut in half. He took it from the bag and held half of it out to her.
She nodded, Mysti looked down into the stream for a moment. She felt like shutting down again, blocking everyone out like she had been doing the past few weeks but another part didn’t want to and she didn’t quite know why. She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes, Mysti then turned to face him when she heard the sadness in his voice. Without thinking, Mysti reached out and touched his arm softly.
When he looked back at her, she pulled back slowly. Mysti hadn’t realized it had been a few days since she had a decent meal. She smiled weakly, “A bit. more than lovely. I’ve been in darkness too long with my thoughts. It can quite terrifying.” She cleared her throat and then looked down at the sandwich half, Mysti took it, her smile brightened. “Thank you, Fallon.” She took a small bite.
He grabbed his bag he had brought with him then stood, slipping the strap over his shoulder. He shouldn’t have been cautious but he was. He didn’t know if it was a trick Savannah was playing or not. The last time he had seen her, actually, was when Myles took him to his house. The male gave her a weak smile before he looked down at the foliage. “Mighty long time… You still look the same, just… sadder.”
His fingers messed with the strap to his bag a moment and he looked up. “How have things been? You graduate from Hogwarts?” There was a slight ache in his chest. Mentioning school made him think of home and it physically pained him. He pulled his gaze away and over to the stream.
Mysti ignored his comment about how she looked sad. Truth be told, she was and she was just too tired to hide it behind her perfect smile. She nodded slightly to his question. “A few weeks ago, yes.” She took in a deep breath and wrapped her arms around her frame as if to hold herself together. The young girl looked out into the open for a moment before she thought his question over. How had things been? The break-up with Jonah had hit her harder than she expected. Though the Hufflepuff boy was right. Everything he had said was right.
A sigh left her lips as she glanced back at him. “Things have been better before.” She confessed. “I graduated a few weeks ago and it seems like I can’t get my life in order. A part of me just wants to leave this place and not even look back once. Though I know that’s unfair. But at the same time I can’t find it in myself to care. This is the first time I’ve been out in weeks actually.” She chuckled. “It’s pretty pathetic, huh?”
He leaned his head back against the tree and closed his eyes. It’d been a while since he’d been outside, inhaled the fresh air or felt the sun rays against his skin. The feeling was different than what he remembered. He took in a deep breath letting his mind wander but it always went to his older brother. He missed him terribly and he wasn’t sure if he was still alive or not. No contact, no visual to know for sure.
Fallon heard footsteps and opened his eyes. He looked over in the directing they were coming from, holding his ground. If it were Savannah he knew running wouldn’t stop her but if it was Parker he didn’t want to run, he wanted to see him. What came into view was the same porcelain skin he saw at a party months ago, before this all had happened. Same brown locks. The boy relaxed, relieved it wasn’t who he thought it was. “It’s dangerous out here you know,” he said it loud enough so she could hear him from where she stood at the stream.
Mysti sighed. She had graduated a few weeks ago from Hogwarts and still wasn’t sure what she wanted to do with her life. It seemed people were busy all around the house but she was stuck in her room most of the time. The blinds closed, blocking all light from the outside world. Darius had attempted to get her to come out a few times as did Leah but she preferred the comfort of her room. It took her a moment to realize that she was alone. The house was completely empty. She could only guess that her parents had gone out. She imagined that Myles was with Noah and Aiken with Ricky as for Roxanne, she was probably off doing her own thing. She didn’t feel comfortable with the silence.
She stood up and slipped into her shoes. Mysti opened her door slowly and peeked out. Nothing. There was no one and the house was eerily quiet. She closed the door behind her and walked out. Mysti groaned when the sunlight hit her. Her eyes burned but she decided she was too far out already to go back inside so she started to walk. She walked for who knows how long. She looked down at the water, it was calming and calm was what she needed. Her mind was always working, always. She wasn’t quite sure how to tell her family that she wanted to leave. That staying here was just adding the sadness she felt in her heart. She was so lost in her thoughts that it took her a moment to realize someone called her. She turned to face the direction she heard the voice come from. “Fallon?” She blinked, “My… it’s been sometime.” A soft barely noticeable smile crossed her features.
